One of the many issues..


What i failed to mention in my last blog is that i also suffer from anxiety which is a killer in its self, as you are constantly fighting your own mind everyday. You convince yourself of stuff that is not real. You suffer from panic attacks and feel like you cant breathe and someone telling you ‘ your fine’ or ‘ your be ok’ do not help the situation. I was on medication for it but felt i was better of it. So imagine having your mind telling you all the time something is wrong with your health, your have cancer, you are dying. Then find out you actually do have some things wrong with you as much as it is a relief to know its not just in mind, there was something actually wrong. It then makes my anxiety 20 times worse that i have been misdiagnosed or that there is actually more wrong with me, it is a never ending circle which i fight with daily….


My first health issue but was not my first diagnosed health issue, is a uterine prolapse at stage 2. After i had my first child everything was fine though i noticed a few things such as pain during intercourse and it never quite feeling right but i ignored it due to me overthinking things anyway. After my second it became more noticeable and i could feel a bulge coming down and it began to get very uncomfortable and it was a constant dragging or period pain sensation. I went to the doctors and she told me you have a  cystocele which is were the lining between your bladder and vagina is torn allowing your bladder to lean into the vagina. So for months i was aware i had a cystocele but it was getting worse as time was going on and becoming more noticeable. I went back to a new doctor ( who by the way is a god send as because of her i am where i am today) she refereed me to the hospital to the gynaecology. As i entered the room he read me my notes my doctor had sent over and what my previous doctor had said about this supposed cystocele. He explained the examination and what was going to happen. So in i went into the room after being asked to cough, laugh, squat, stand we had finally finished. ( let me not forget to mention i had to have a steroid injection in the piece of skin leading from the vagina to the anus as i have scar tissue which is really painful) so i went back in the room and sat down and the first question he asked me was  Do you want to have more children? He then explained that i had uterine prolapse where my womb was prolapsing and slipping into my birth canal and i also have a prolapsed bladder . He explained it will keep prolapsing and they can fit a pessary ring to help hold it in place if i would like to have more children or if i have finished my family my options was to have my womb removed or corrective surgery which i would be recommended to NOT have another child as it would be dangerous to me and the baby. He also proceeded to say if i choose to keep my womb i would have to be monitored in later pregnancy and possibly put on bed rest all together and proceede with a c section to stop any matters getting worse. There is 4 stages to a prolapse.. Stage I – the uterus is in the upper half of the vagina. Stage II – the uterus has descended nearly to the opening of the vagina. Stage III – the uterus protrudes out of the vagina. Stage IV – the uterus is completely out of the vagina.Once i reach stage 3 corrective surgery or a hysterectomy become the main options. (He also told me with corrective surgery majority of them end up prolapsing again and end up having a hysterectomy)

I am blessed with the children i have now, but having it limited that one day ill have to just give up my womb is depressing. Knowing that one part of me will be gone..


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